August 20, 2010

WORDS...

(The girls and I about 4 years ago - gosh they grow up fast!) :)

 Ya know it's funny - there are two little words, that as a parent, just bother me. I don't know why exactly - if it was something from my childhood or what but these two WORDS have had an impact on me and the way I choose to communicate with my kiddos.  I make a conscious effort to avoid these words, but instead choose a different word or action....

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proud (proud)
adj. proud·er, proud·est
1. Feeling pleasurable satisfaction over an act, possession, quality, or relationship by which one measures one's stature or self-worth: proud of one's child
2. Occasioning or being a reason for pride: "On January 1, 1900, Americans and Europeans greeted the twentieth century in the proud and certain belief that the next hundred years would make all things possible" (W. Bruce Lincoln).
3. Feeling or showing justifiable self-respect.
4. Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem.
5. Of great dignity; honored: a proud name.
6. Majestic; magnificent: proud alpine peaks.
7. Spirited. Used of an animal: proud steeds.

I think if I use this word "PROUD" to tell my girls how happy I am with them, like - "I AM so proud of YOU!" It gives the girls an impression that they need to do the best that they can on things in life to make ME happy, to make ME proud! ...and this is ALL wrong!  First and foremost I want them to give 110% in whatever they do to GLORIFY GOD! I want them to always PLEASE HIM first! Cuz no matter what I will ALWAYS be happy when they do something well! :)

Instead of telling my girls how PROUD of them I am - I just tell them specifically what they did well!! :) "I'm SO excited you did SO well on that project!" "Congratulations on a FABULOUS report card!, GOOD JOB! - You worked REALLY hard on that!" "Yahoooo! You had a GREAT game - Good Job hitting the ball to the outfiled..." Okay, so you get it. :) Am I a little crazy? ha! :)

2 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.


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dis·ap·point (dis'e-point')
v. dis·ap·point·ed, dis·ap·point·ing, dis·ap·points
v.tr.
1. To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of.
2. To frustrate or thwart: "I will not disappoint the confidence you have put in me" (Wayne A. Budd).
v.intr.
To cause disappointment.
 
I don't know why - but I cringe a little when I hear this word! It sounds SO permanent or something. "I'm so disappointed in you!" "That's a BIG disappointment to me." OUCH! :(

Ya see, no matter what my kids do, I'm gonna ♥ LOVE ♥ them forever and ever.. AMEN! :) Of course, they aren't going to always make good choices, they will make mistakes or mess something up or say something disrespectful... But, I want to be FORGIVING because I am Forgiven! :) Soooo, to avoid that word - I'll say something like, "It really bums me out that you didn't put more effort into that." "It hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that...."

1 John 2:1 
"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One."

1 John 1:9 
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
 
Ephesians 1:7
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."

Okay... so maybe I'm a little CRAZY or just a little sensitive about these two WORDS - I don't know! :)  ha ha! :) ...I do know that it helps me help my girls to remind them to ALWAYS put Christ first before their good 'ol Ma and Pa and that whatever mistake they make in life - our AWESOME Heavenly Father will always forgive them, and so will we! :)

6 comments:

  1. Well said!!! I use the word Proud and have never thought of it like you, but I think I will adopt your way of thinking. I like it!!

    (But the word Disappointed has been thought of like you and I will continue to replace it too.)

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  2. Great post! Good idea too...I have worried about using the word "proud" before b/c I think they sometimes equate that to "performance"...I want my kids to develop godly character and loving hearts...and not get so caught up in how they perform!

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  3. Thanks for giving me something to think about! I have never used "disappointed" with Monkey, but I have used "proud". But I have never looked at it in that way. We will definately need to pray about if and when these words should be used.

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  4. Love this picture of you and your sweeties! Love this post too! Thank you for making me think about how we use the word "proud." I agree with Alison, I worry they will equate proud with performance and no matter what I always love them and more importantly God always loves them!!

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  5. I definitely have that cringe feeling too about the word disappoint. It sounds like saying that your kid is a disappointment which is not at all what you wanna convey.

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  6. Heeey ladies, thanks for your comments and feedback - I wondered if I was a little over-sensitive about these words - Nice to hear your thoughts as well. :)

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Thank you for your kind words! ♥